Enjoy and Bless

It’s July in the United States, so I’ve been thinking about freedom, liberty, and independence. We often treat these words as though they mean the same thing. A thesaurus probably would, too. But I think we’ve been misled into believing that independence always leads to greater freedom, at least when it comes to human flourishing.

The Fourth of July celebrates the moment the American colonies declared independence from a government that restricted their freedoms. But independence wasn’t the freedom itself. It was the necessary step that made freedom possible.

That distinction has made me think about parenting, education, and how we raise our children. 

Parents are often encouraged to raise children who will become independent adults. While I understand the intention, I’m beginning to think independence is the wrong ultimate goal.

Human beings weren’t designed to live independently. We’re each created with a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses, and we reach our greatest potential when our strengths are joined with the strengths of others. Flourishing happens in community, not isolation.

This is one of the shortcomings I see in much of our education system. Students are expected to become proficient in every subject, largely on their own, devoting equal attention to a predetermined list of skills and disciplines. Success is measured by individual performance more than collaborative contribution.

What if the goal were different?

What if education aimed for interdependence instead of independence?

Students could discover and develop their unique talents while learning to work alongside people whose gifts complement their own. Schools could reward collaboration as much as individual achievement, cultivating people who take ownership of their work while also knowing when—and how—to ask for help.

Too often, getting help is treated as something to avoid. In many classrooms, receiving assistance on an assignment or test is considered cheating. Of course there are times when individual work is important, but why do we so often equate needing help with failure? Who decided that maturity means being able to do everything alone?

Ironically, our pursuit of independence in parenting and educating our children may actually limit their freedom. When every child is expected to follow the same path and master the same things in the same way, they have less freedom to pursue the unique calling God has given them within a community that encourages and strengthens one another. In our effort to make children independent, we may unintentionally deprive them of the freedom that comes from belonging to and contributing within an interdependent community.

Just as the colonies declared independence in order to gain freedom, perhaps it’s time for us to declare independence from the assumptions of traditional schooling so our children can experience a richer kind of freedom—one that prepares them not simply to stand alone, but to thrive together.