Enjoy and Bless

https://open.spotify.com/episode/66Ft6Cjbd2p8P2UXw24xjl?si=jejyEIQjQWOJFE96L0oOmA

I often think about the Tony Morrison quote, “If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” I actually tried that before I had children and have the start of a story that I wonder if I’ll ever finish… but in the meantime, I’ve discovered a podcast I want to listen to that hasn’t been created yet. So here I am to share reflections on my journey as a newly minted unschooling Christian mother. 

I’ve been listening to Dana K White’s podcast “A Slob Comes clean.” I’ve started at the beginning as she tells her story of stumbling into being a decluttering and organizing blogger and am inspired by her path of talking about a topic not because she is an expert but rather because she is trying to figure it out. (I highly recommend her blog and podcast, btw, especially if you’re a creative type who just knows you can find a use for that large purple plastic container the Halloween cheese puffs came in that really should just go to recycling otherwise it will sit in your house taking up space for the next 5 years. If that sentence didn’t make sense to you just move on along… But yes, I have two of those large plastic tubs in my garage right now.)

What was I saying? Dana K White. She didn’t even want anyone to know she was writing about being a slob. She just wanted to make progress and found that writing about her journey helped her accomplish that. That’s sort of where I find myself. 

Over the past summer I began to accept the fact that I am an unschooling mom. I’ve heard stories of unschooling families and how they live their lives with freedom and joy pursuing their individual passions and simply learning for the sake of the love of learning and not passing tests or checking boxes. It all makes wonderful sense to me and when I told my daughters that we would be changing to Unschooling, they were thrilled. We love this new lifestyle. 

But I’ve never met another unschooler in real life. In conversations with other families and moms I find myself feeling… well I’m not even quite sure what the feeling is – alone? I’m not quite sure how to respond when they share burdens about not getting enough done or falling behind in math or trying to get their child to finish the latest project for their homeschool co-op. They live under these constraints that we just don’t experience and I find myself wondering, “Hey friend….Do you realize that you are making a choice to live this way? Do you know there are other options?” And the truth is, maybe they don’t know. This is just the way our society has functioned for as long as any of us can remember (which btw isn’t really that long). 

Throughout my life there have been specific voices out there on the web that have been guiding lights for me offering a unique path. And I doubt I would have experienced the same growth and confidence without their willingness to share their story with the world. So here I am to share my journey in hopes that it might encourage and inspire even just a few other families to take a different route where learning is a joy and life pursuit rather than a chore and something to check off before getting on to “real life.” 

I have a million thoughts swirling in my head ready to pour out. My goal here is to share them in bite sized pieces that can be read or listened to in the spaces between. I hope what I share here is a blessing to you! Here we go! 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/03rzBvFj3gUWpKKc4wE3SL?si=nk0adR1sRw6NwcBZ0fTANA

I thought it might be helpful for me to explain the title of my blog/podcast: “Enjoy and Bless.” Once again, inspiration came from efforts to learn how to declutter and organize my house! 

I was working through the workbook “Organized Simplicity” by Tsh Oxenreider where she challenges the reader to articulate their motivation for decluttering and organizing by crafting a mission statement for your family, a guiding light that can help you make decisions about what to keep, what to let go of, and what to let into your family’s home. It was a turning point for me when God led me to this: Enjoy life together and be a blessing to others. Enjoy and bless. I’ve found it to be an encouraging, inspiring, and practical guide for choosing how we use our time, energy, money, things, etc. 

One concrete example is Christmas gifts. While I take my kids’ wish lists into consideration, I prioritize looking for gifts that our whole family can use and enjoy together while also keeping in mind good stewardship that cares for the earth and reserves some of our spending money for giving to others. Enjoy and bless. 

As a follower of Jesus, love is the guiding principle of my life, and I’ve come to see these two words – enjoy and bless – as each side of the coin of love. I’m sure you’ve wrestled with these sides of love. We say we love something when we enjoy it, and it brings us pleasure. And we say we love something when we sacrifice on its behalf. It seems to me that whole love brings these two together; it’s seen in those times when our joy flows in and out of an experience that also blesses another. 

So how does all of this relate to unschooling? When I began homeschooling, I wrote down my goals for our children’s education. I wanted to inspire in them a love of God, love of people, love of learning, and love of a job well done. I found “schooling” got in the way of my efforts to preserve their love of learning. It was stealing their joy. 

You know what they say is the thief of joy: comparison. And schooling is all about comparison – at least these days. How do you measure up to the test, to your peers, to the expectations of your parents, your teachers, your government. School doesn’t have to be this way, and I am hopeful that our society’s approach to education can change, but in our homeschool, tests, checking the boxes, requiring specific lessons were barriers to our ultimate goals. So I decided to let them go. Unschooling has provided our family a pathway to enjoying life together and being a blessing to others! 

I’m sure I’ll be sharing more specific ways that unschooling has opened doors to enjoyment and blessing in future episodes. But there you have it: Enjoy and Bless. I hope you find ways today to enjoy life with your family and to be a blessing to those around you!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3j4wdIJM0oapjnehbbPuvO?si=rVOaWVRWQBiUYMEi15XgjA

So what is unschooling? My short answer when I’m out and about is that my kids learn what they want, how they want. 

What does that mean more specifically? I don’t have a set curriculum for them. They are free to learn about whatever interests them through whatever resources we can find: books, the internet, documentaries, museums, video games, real life experiences, etc. In unschooling, there is no prescribed content. 

Also, learning isn’t restricted to certain hours of the day because we view all of life as an unending opportunity to learn. We’re learning when we sit at the dinner table discussing our days. We’re learning when we go to the grocery store deciding what to have for lunch and comparing prices (and always pushing mom along so she doesn’t go crazy buying random things we don’t need). We’re learning when we read a good book for fun or research a question that pops into our head or sit on the front porch watching the birds come and go. In unschooling, there are no prescribed hours. 

I don’t view myself as their teacher but rather more of a curator or guide. I try to provide a rich feast of resources and ideas and books and experiences. And then I watch to see how the kids respond. Sometimes they light up in an unexpected way and we follow that excitement further. Sometimes they don’t care for a particular topic or experience and we move on. Rather than being their teacher, I’m a student of their unique wiring. If I see a strength or passion in them, I do what I can to feed and support those areas.

Unschooling goes by other names, as well. The most common is probably self-directed learning. I’ve also heard interest-led learning, natural learning, or life learning, among others. ChatGPT helped me out remembering these terms and introduced me to the concept of Open Learning which is related but distinct and offers an opportunity for me to clarify something about my three children: my 11 year old and 9 year old have always been homeschooled, but as a student of my youngest, I realized fairly early on that he needs more structure to his days than I am designed to provide. 

Thankfully, it’s not too hard to find daycare/preschool environments that allow plenty of freedom to play without prescribed lessons, and when he reached “school age” God generously led us to a unique micro school in someone else’s home that provides more rhythm and structure than we follow in our home while also preserving the freedom to learn at his own pace. His environment matches more of an Open Learning approach to education: he is attending a school with fixed hours and routines and a teacher guiding his day, yet he still has a great deal of freedom to learn and play at his own pace with lots of flexibility and choices. 

Unschooling, self-directed learning, open learning can look different for each family and child. That’s really a foundational part of this approach to education. It’s recognizing that everyone has a unique design with distinct strengths and learning styles, and these alternative approaches to education make room for each person to learn at their own pace according to their own unique wiring. 

I should add here that there are some specific subjects that we are legally required to cover in our homeschool. But I will get into more of those details in my next episode. 

Thanks for reading!

https://open.spotify.com/episode/52gaJwZ6LdxY0e45m5KnBs?si=1gfSBLc8SNatxhXhIRMaEw

Today I’d like to wade a bit into the legal side of schooling. I am no legal expert but as a follower of Jesus I of course want to respect and follow the laws of the government where I live. Our family lives in the United States of America in the state of Georgia. This works in our favor as an unschooling family because our national law is silent on education and our state law is only moderately regulated. 

America is called the Land of Liberty, and I have definitely grown in my appreciation of the liberties we enjoy as we begin this journey into unschooling. Our national constitution does not require children to attend public school and it does not forbid education at home. Currently, all 50 states do require that children within a certain age range must receive an education, and fortunately our national constitution protects a parent’s right to choose to educate at home.

Homeschooling (or educating your children at home) is legal in all 50 states; however, the specific rules around homeschooling differ from state to state. Some states are very open-handed with zero required documentation – parents are trusted to educate their children. Other states have minimal requirements such as submitting a declaration of intent to homeschool, while more restrictive states require keeping a record of attendance, progress reports, and annual standardized tests. 

So is unschooling legal in the United States? Families who unschool are following the path of self-directed education – they are providing their children with an education. I’m sure there could be situations where a parent says they are unschooling when really the children are not being given opportunities to pursue learning, but if you’re here reading about unschooling as an alternative to traditional schooling, I’m going to guess you provide resources and experiences that provide plenty of opportunities to learn and receive an education. 

In my last episode, I described three distinctives of unschooling. So let’s see how these map onto the homeschooling laws of Georgia. 

The first unschooling distinctive: no prescribed content. Georgia law does require that students be instructed in five subjects: reading, language arts, mathematics, social studies, and science. The instructor is required to write an annual progress report on how each student is progressing in each of these areas. The law does not prescribe exactly what must be covered in these subjects nor the means of covering them. So, for example, instruction in math can include a child’s interest in baking or budgeting or playing board games. Children are also required to participate in standardized testing every three years, but these scores are not submitted to the state and there is no minimum score required to continue your home study program. 

The second unschooling distinctive: no prescribed hours. Georgia law does require “instruction for a period of time equal to 180 school days…each school day consisting of at least four and one-half school hours.” I think many unschoolers find this requirement amusing because we view all of life as an opportunity to be “instructed.” If my daughter spends the morning reading a book or building a fort, the early afternoon drawing or creating origami, late afternoon watching a documentary, and the evening playing a problem-solving video game, how many hours of instruction does that equal? I never worry that my children aren’t spending enough hours learning!

The third unschooling distinctive: I don’t view myself as their teacher or instructor but more of a guide or curator. Georgia law requires the parent, guardian, or hired tutor to have a high school diploma or GED. So from a legal perspective, I do serve as their “instructor,” but the law does not require me to instruct in a specific way. So I am free to instruct through resources, experiences, guidance, etc. rather than lecture or worksheets. And I am free to not use tests or grades (other than the required standardized testing every three years.)

So overall, I find myself grateful to be living in Georgia where we are mostly free to educate our children as we feel is best. In order to follow the law of the land, the three things I do that I would not do on my own are writing annual progress reports on how each of my children have engaged in the five required subject areas, completing standardized testing every three years, and submitting a declaration of intent to homeschool. 

You may find that you also need to make a few adjustments or use some out of the box thinking to fit an unschooling lifestyle into the laws of your state but from what I  understand, unschooling principles can be applied legally in most if not all of the United States. 

This episode has gotten a bit dry and long for what I’m intending with this podcast but hopefully it may set your mind at ease about whether or not this approach is even legally a possibility for your family! Thanks for bearing with me, and I’ll be back soon with hopefully a bit of a lighter topic next time! 

You can learn more about the specific homeschooling laws in your state here:

https://hslda.org/legal/

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7jZ0NpqV236xpL99j2XHJC?si=5cTz5u2tRtibTSbZaGgUTQ

Well I had plans to make this episode a bit more light-hearted than the previous episode on the legality of unschooling, but something happened in my world that motivated me to talk about something important. 

My brother is attending a funeral this afternoon. Some close friends of his unexpectedly lost their 5 year old son to cardiac arrest a few days ago. He had been a happy, healthy little boy and within two days he was gone. 

Two essential truths rise to the surface for me when I encounter tragedy like this. One, this world is broken and we do ourselves and those around us a disservice when we act or believe otherwise. Two, we are not promised tomorrow so it is imperative that we get our priorities right today. 

Sometimes I worry about the risks I’m taking by unschooling our children. Will they have the documents and test scores they need to pursue the career they’re interested in? Is it okay that they don’t know their multiplication tables? Am I equipping them with the right tools to succeed in adult life? And then I remember: children are already living their lives. They are already whole persons ready to enjoy life and bless others and contribute to society and be respected and celebrated as the unique individuals they are. 

What if we literally spend and give away their childhood preparing for a future that doesn’t exist? Whether that means they are taken from this world early or society as we know it has transformed into something we never could have predicted… Suddenly, concerns about test scores and multiplication tables disappear, and my attention turns to enjoying who my children are today, making sure they know how loved they are, and celebrating all that they have brought to the world already. 

Today I encourage you to slow down, look your children in the eye, and admire the incredible young people they already are. Tell them how much you love them and how proud you are of who they are, just as they are, right in this moment. 

Thanks for reading.