Enjoy and Bless

Episode Transcript:

So I listened to my last episode, and I feel like I could have left you all with the impression that I do not limit my children’s access to things or just let them have free reign, and it just sounded way too open-ended as far as what I allow into my children’s lives. And I think a simple way to maybe clarify where I’m coming from is that unschooling does not mean unparenting.

As parents, we have specific responsibilities, right? Our children come into this world, completely dependent upon us, completely needy, completely dependent, and as their parent, it is our job to provide what they need for their bodies, for their minds, for their hearts, to protect them from harm, so setting safety boundaries. The way I approach that looks probably different than some other people. I believe strongly in setting limits with empathy and explaining as much as I possibly can about why boundaries and limits are in place.

And as parents, we also are responsible for preparing our children, for independence, for moving out on their own, and for contributing to society. That has been a motivating force in my journey, in making decisions on how we raise our children, that I don’t want them to just be consumers, and I don’t want them to be depending, continuing, to depend on others to provide for them. I want them to create, to contribute, to own their own responsibilities, and be independent in that way. So, yeah, so unschooling does not mean unparenting.

And I want to touch more on providing for their minds and their hearts. I feel that by taking school out of the equation, we are better equipped to provide for their minds and their hearts, that we, instead of, a constant stream of filling their mind with things that they may or may not need in life, we open up space for their minds to grow and feed on ideas that will serve their unique path.

I learned from Charlotte Mason that our minds are organisms that feed on ideas. And so as a parent, I do see it as my responsibility to make sure they are in an environment where there are plenty of idea growing resources, whether that’s books or interesting movies, or challenging video games, board games, Play-Doh, time in nature, interesting toys, anything that they can use to create something, to think about something in a new way way. I do take it very seriously that I am providing a rich environment. for their minds to feast on. But I don’t decide what they interact with when. I provide the environment and invite them into it.

And I see that very similar to what God does for us. He provides us this beautiful environment. He’s provided scripture. He provided Jesus to show us what he is like and to instruct us on how to live the best life we can on earth. And he invites us into it. He doesn’t demand or dictate the schedule or you must interact with this and do this at this certain time.

So I hope that makes a little more sense. I just felt like it sounded a little crazy in my earlier episode of just the idea of just having limitless possibility that there is a responsibility as a parent, that responsible parents do provide good things. They do protect and set boundaries in place, to protect their children.

And I wanted to share maybe a very concrete example of what this looks like in our home that is maybe different than other approaches. For example, with screen time and homework, you know, a common conversation that might happen in a home is you need to get your homework done before you can use your screens, before you can play a video game or watch a show. And in our home, instead of those kind of conversations, we are talking about: What does it look like to live a balanced life and what are the things that feed our souls in a positive direction? What are the things that leave you feeling refreshed and inspired, and what are the things that you afterwards feel kind of cranky or bored, and we observe that, and think about that, and talk about that.

It’s amazing what children learn, and the choices they make when you give them the opportunity to make that choice themselves. I’ve been amazed. I mean, it’s not like my children are sitting around reading the Bible all day long, but they will choose to read the Bible on their own without any prompting. One of my daughters started a prayer journal on her own without any prompting. And those are the kind of wins that I rejoice in, that I see happening when I give them the autonomy to follow their own path, to have their own relationship with God, to interact with him in the ways that he has uniquely designed them.

And I was really thinking, I mean, I think with grown-ups, a lot of where our lives go sideways, is when we ourselves fail to acknowledge our own need and dependence on our heavenly Father, that he is a good father. He’s a good parent. And when we see him, as that good father, and listen to him, as a good father, he leads us into abundant life. He leads us into flourishing, into good things.

He wants good things for us, but he doesn’t force our hand. He doesn’t manipulate us. He doesn’t even punish us when we go our own way outside of just natural, the natural consequences of not following his way, it comes with its own built-in consequences that he doesn’t need to send down lightning when you’ve gone off the path.

Anyway, I hope this is making some sense. I hope it brings some clarity to what I shared before. My previous episode was a written out, you know, thought out, articulated message that I wanted to share, but as I was reading it, I felt it was missing an important piece.

And one thing I struggle with this podcast is just, every topic can go out so many different directions and I always feel it when I have to narrow in on one thing and that inevitably, there will be questions or, objections or just thoughts or pieces of the discussion that I haven’t touched on and I don’t want those concerns to stop me from speaking and sharing. So bear with me when I overlook something big and obvious. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. I hope this is helpful.