Enjoy and Bless

My mom keeps prompting me to tell people about my blog/podcast. Of course I feel loved by how proud she is of me, but something keeps holding me back from sharing this new endeavor. It feels a bit like I’m coming out—revealing a lifestyle choice that is often misunderstood and frowned upon. And sharing it all publicly at this early point in our journey feels like stepping onto a stage in front of an audience before even learning the script. 

I recently wrestled with all the emotions that surfaced when I confessed unschooling to a fellow homeschooling friend, as well as sharing my podcast with a family member who lives a very polished life. In the first instance I felt I might be judged as irresponsible and naive. The second I felt self-conscious and embarrassed by the amateurishness of my content. (Can you tell I struggle with people-pleasing?) I walked away from those conversations feeling flat and sad. Doubts crept in that maybe my kids are missing out by not having the typical school experience or jumping through the necessary hoops to advance in our society. 

I voiced some of this concern to my girls. They were very quick to assure me they love unschooling and are willing to accept whatever trade-offs might come with it (not those exact words but that was the gist!). And I was able to identify fairly quickly that those doubts were being fueled entirely by fear. And I don’t want to live a life steered by fear. 

It’s true that there are parts of traditional school that I am glad my children don’t have to deal with, but avoiding something isn’t a sustaining or inspiring reason to choose an unconventional path. We are choosing this path because we want our lives to be motivated by love and joy! Trouble and challenges, pain and suffering are inevitable in this broken world, but it seems to me we can often invite unnecessary trials when we let our choices be motivated by fear instead of joy. 

Writing and speaking these thoughts brings clarity to my purpose as an unschooling mom. It inspires me and bolsters my confidence to put voice to these questions and reflections. That is a good reason to continue. Concerns about how it may be received is not a good reason to quit! 

Unschooling frees our children to choose from joy rather than fear. My 9 year old is using Duolingo to practice math because she enjoys it not because a teacher has required it and she will face assessment. Of course traditionally schooled students can enjoy their learning, but all the assessment and comparison has the potential to undermine this joy.

What is motivating your decisions today? Is your time being scheduled from a place of avoidance and fear or from a place of pursuit and joy? How can you help your children celebrate the joy of learning and identify when fear is trying to take the reins? 

One of my favorite Charlotte Mason homeschoolers, Julie H. Ross, taught me that our number one passion killer is our thoughts. She encourages us to take our eyes off the problem we’re facing and redirect our attention to our purpose, because our thoughts produce feelings and those feelings produce actions for good or ill. Focusing on a problem will always amplify the voice of fear and all sorts of negative emotions. Focusing on your purpose opens the pathway back to joy!

I hope you find some time today to identify areas where fear might be hijacking your choices and redirect your mind to your actual goal. I hope today you find a practical way to quiet your fears and rediscover joy!

Learn more about Julie H. Ross here: https://agentlefeast.com/about/